The frightened way we live our lives

In the moments before being fully awake, consciousness is caught between the spiritual and the physical realm, perhaps those are the purest moments of being alive. The remnants of undoubting, irrepressible, undeniable faith linger in the space just between the eyes and the heart and anything is possible.

Then slowly (or sometimes abruptly) the heaviness, the weight of life slips into your bones, into your being and that lighter than air bubble of love, hope, power, has disappeared. And, we forget Who We Are. We move and act like what we believe is true. And what we believe is so limited. So short-sighted and so often, so unbelieving in magic and humor and spirit and distrustful of our own thoughts on love.

And it turns into fear, doesn't it? We become frightened of everything. Scared to give and scared to take. Reluctant to wish for dreams and reluctant to give up the yearning. The holding pattern of planes becomes familiar. Stuck in the in-between of arriving and departing. Stuck in the transition of the beginning or the ending.

Making no decision is making a decision. But so often, we refuse the personal responsibility of determining our course, and thereby believe the illusion that life happens to us.

What a crock of shit. What a sad, pathetic, frightened way to live.

"Mess with the bull, ya get the horns, you know what I'm saying." Say it with a grin, with a shake of the dice in one hand and your winnings in the other. That's the way to live life!

Grab on and go for a ride. Why not?

I don't want to be scared anymore. To be frightened like that. I want to sleep with the security of a child - arms above my head, palms up, with a half-smile on my face from the magic of my dreams. And the smile doesn't fade when I wake up. I want to learn to capture that smile and chase after it all the day long like a wild butterfly because that seems like fun, and that seems like allowing myself to be aware of the joy of spirit. And it seems like in the chase, I won't have time to be scared, I won't have time to believe thoughts that don't serve me.

I don't like the frightened way we live our lives. And I want to do something about it.